No matter what these personalized rituals are called the most important element is that a special time is carved out for intimates to express love, gratitude and those things we should’ve, would’ve, or could’ve, said if we found the right time.

These pre-death ceremonial farewells have been coined living wake, celebration of life, friendship service, living tribute, reminiscing party and sendoff. The funeral in living funeral tends to put people off because they feel like they’re digging the grave too early, but quite the contrary gathering to eulogize and celebrate one’s life before he or she dies is the antithesis. These celebrations help families prepare for the inevitable, and bond while focusing on life when they often feel helpless in the face of death.” Some families suggest that attendees bring mementos, such as a picture or an item from a treasured family vacation, to help focus the reminiscing party. Others are more somber with collective prayers, Psalms or Holy book readings, anointing and last rites given by clergy.Īs I mention in my column about a living tribute in the OC Register, “The gathering becomes a stage for people to share memories, sometimes songs, poems and lifetime achievement awards that express: thank you, I love you, I’ll remember you. I’ve seen the honoree dressed in everything from a hospital gown to a tuxedo. These formal or informal get-togethers take place at a home, community center, house of worship, hotel banquet hall, a favorite restaurant, a theater, or any place that would honor the person. Some look like a cross between a wedding and funeral. People are toasting and roasting family members and friends with limited time left. In researching my book Parting Ways, I’ve come to realize that these pre-death rituals that seem rare are on the rise from the east to west coasts.

The protagonist Tom Sawyer said in the midst of the fanfare, “It was the proudest moment of his whole life.”

Mark Twain, the astute observer of human behavior and one of the greatest authors in American history, portrayed his fascination of eavesdropping on his own funeral in the novel “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer” published in 1902. This gathering of family, friends, neighbors and colleagues is a ceremony or party to celebrate a person with a life-limiting illness. A living funeral is the grandest celebration of your life with a twist-you, the honoree, are living and present to hear the eulogies, praises and farewells given before death. Preparing to appear at the grandest celebration of his life.

Celebration of life